The Reality of "Missing Out".
But Are We Really Tho?!
Was up homegirls? Let’s get straight into it. This might be 3 mini posts on FOMO or not—depends on where I end up after writing this.
I know our loved ones or inner circle want the best for us when we’re single and child-free. But I notice for some single folks, regardless of gender, it’s like society has an issue seeing us single and wants to “fix it” so we don’t end up all alone with hella dogs or cats. I love dawgs, by the way (lol).
Why does it bother them that we’re single and want to hook up with someone? Why do they (society) often assume that being single means missing out on some of life’s most fulfilling experiences—love, connection, loyalty, and companionship?
It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that we’re incomplete without these things, especially when society makes us feel like we should have them by a certain age or stage in life. Society's pressure, paired with our internal desire to feel “fulfilled,” leads us to believe that we’re somehow missing out.
But how much of this assumption is rooted in external pressure rather than our true desires? Society loves to remind us that being alone is somehow “bad” or that we need a partner to feel truly loved. We’re often reminded of the fear of being alone later in life or the notion that we don’t truly know love until we have kids. These ideas become embedded in our thinking, making us feel like we’re missing something, when in reality, it’s just the pressure to conform.
The fear of “missing out” isn’t only about not having someone else in our lives; it’s about the comparisons we make. If you’ve ever felt behind in life, especially when family members start comparing your milestones to others, you know how tough it can be. Letting go of that comparison, however, would be both freeing and intimidating—suddenly, we would have to face the truth about where we are in life, whether that’s single, lonely, or whatever it is we’ve been avoiding acknowledging.
But what if we stopped measuring our worth by others’ timelines? What if we embraced where we are without the pressure to conform? There’s freedom in living on our own terms and accepting that we’re not “missing out” on anything, just living a different path.
I know embracing where you are, especially if you never “pictured yourself” being ___, can be hard and eye-opening, but how you see things can make a difference.
Often it’s seen as a bad thing not to be___ in society, but we’re fortunate to be able to figure it out on our own. Once again, I go back to the power of choice. For example— I’m privileged and fortunate that I can afford therapy and truly figure out what I want in life, including being in a relationship. Wait, back up for a second—figure out if I even want a relationship. If so, cool. If not, cool. Do I picture myself with someone? If so, why and for what? The “why” is easier to answer—love, connection, companionship. But the “for what” is a little trickier. What am I expecting from this relationship? Is it just about not being single anymore, or is there a deeper reason I want to share my life with someone?
You know what, homegirl? I didn’t want this to be a long ass reflection, so Imma have to split it into 3ish (or less) without being repetitive. Hope you enjoyed the first part!
I’ll catch you on part 2!
Stay tuned for more but in bite-sized pieces. 😉